I chose a one word theme for my life this new year- instead of making resolutions. One word- that I prayed about and believe God gave to me. One word that could be a way for me to focus, get back on track if I lose my way, and look for God to teach me about.
My word is... NEW.
2Cor. 5:17 says, "Therefore if any one is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old is gone, the new has come." Problem is I don't feel so new.
And of course there's this one: Isaiah 43:18-19 "Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up, do you not perceive it?" No- I don't always perceive it. But I want to.
And how about Lamentations 3:22-23 "...His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Why do I live in old shame instead of embracing God's new compassions?
New.
The word isn't impressive, scholarly word, or even the slightest bit unusual or groundbreaking, but what God is speaking to me about that word is transforming- to me. I have been weighed down the last few months with some old stuff. New hurts have triggered old ones to come to the surface. I have believed things about myself that aren't true of me and I have doubted others love for me because they weren't giving me what I expected. I have been disappointed.
You know how it is when you first meet someone? There is an eagerness to know each other, a genuine interest, a grace to believe the best because you don't have any history to hold over their heads. Even if someone is a scoundrel to everyone who knows them; with every new person they meet, there is a grace to now be better... a fresh start to be the person you want to be - in this relationship. A newness.
After awhile we stop learning about each other and put people in boxes, refusing to see that they are deeper still than what we know and there is more beauty to be revealed. We fall out of love. We fall out of interest. We think it's their fault. But perhaps, we have stopped allowing them to be -new. Familiarity breeds contempt so they say. I think it's true and I have felt the sting of being on the receiving end of people no longer caring to know more of who I am. Disenchanted, bored, and shutting me down so I don't even believe there's more of me worth sharing.
I have also been on the giving end of that kind of treatment. It grieves me and I want to love better than that.
There's so much more to this that God is showing me, but for now, I just want to share with you that "New" is my word. I will strive to believe that God is telling the truth about me, and making me new every day. And I will allow others to be new too. I won't hold history over their heads. I will get to know them again. I want to be the kind of friend that breathes life into people and helps them re-create. And I want to challenge myself to dig deeper and find new things inside of me that God put there for a reason.
One practical way of embracing my word is this. Starting January 1st, I have begun a personal quest: 365 days of NEW.
Every day this year, I will do something I haven't done before. It could be as little as, trying a new food, or taking a new route... Or it could be as adventurous as, well... I'm not telling just yet. But I will keep you posted.
Yesterday, I wasn't working at church like I usually am, and yet I stayed through two services back to back because my pastor asked me to. That was new.
Today, January 2nd, I bought my first set of art supplies. I'm 47 and I'm sure I haven't painted since elementary school. Perhaps it's just my version of a mid-life crisis, but I'm going to paint something, by golly. Just like this new year of my life- a blank canvas is waiting, full of possibilities.
Tracey
365 days of New
Mom's Christmas Breakfast Casserole
Hi friends!
Every year since I was a wee one, my mom has made this delicious breakfast for Christmas morning. We love it so much and only get it once a year. Many of our listeners have adopted it as their Christmas morning breakfast so, we wanted to share the recipe with you once again!
Enjoy!
Linda's Breakfast Casserole
Ingredients:
6 slices of bread, crusts removed
Butter (to lightly coat the bread)
1 lb of bacon (or your choice of meat like sausage, steak, chicken, etc)
1 1/2 cups shredded cheese (we like shredded cheddar)
6 eggs
2 cups of milk
salt & pepper (to taste)
To Make:
Grease a 13 x 9 inch pan.
Butter the 6 slices of bread and place in pan butter side up.
Fry bacon (or meat you desire) and crumble over the bread.
Sprinkle cheese over the meat and bread.
In a bowl, whisk together 6 eggs, salt & pepper and 2 cups of milk.
Pour over top the bread, meat, and cheese.
Cover with foil and place in the fridge overnight.
The next morning, preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Pull casserole out and let sit on the counter for 15 minutes (very important if you are using a glass pan!).
Uncover and bake for approximately 45 minutes.
Let sit for 5 minutes and enjoy!
I AM NOT MY HAIR
I am not this skin
I am not your expectations no no
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am a soul that lives within
- India Arie
It's hard to explain how much of my identity has been tied to my hair. My whole life I have had long hair with one agonizing exception - when Mom got me a pixie at age 3. I have the pics to prove how agonizing that was.
Since then and all through my teens, twenties, thirties and yes, even my forties, I was girl with the long, blond-ish hair. During this time, something happened inside of me. A core belief formed that my hair was the only pretty thing I had going for me. I thought, "If I didn't have this long, pretty hair, no man would ever be interested." Surely, I wanted one to be interested so, at least I have my hair.
To add to this belief I had built up, many people over the years reinforced this idea that men really love the long hair. So, I held onto this hair. Thinking that to not have it would mean that I was less - less of a woman, less pretty, less deserving of love, less feminine.
I didn't know how deep these beliefs were hidden in my heart. They were wrong. But they were what I believed.
The thing about my Lord Jesus, is He is always challenging me to see myself differently. After all, I am a new creation in Him. He looks at my heart while men (and women) judge the outward appearance. He has been changing me on the inside. But on the outside, I was still the girl with the long hair believing it was my ticket to being beautiful.
A few years ago, I did make a big change and went red - a big change from my blonde! Here's the crazy thing...going through old pictures, I discovered my hair was red naturally when I was younger. So red became comfortable. But the red hair was still long-ish and still blond-ish too.
Then last year, I went through a metamorphosis and thanks to the grace of God, I met some great people from A Better Weigh and I lost 55 pounds. Surely now...with this long hair and being thinner than I've been since I was a teenager...surely now, my prince would come! Funny how the deep motives of our heart are exposed in times like this. I didn't know I had put God on a timetable and I had a great expectation attached to these big external changes I was making. Well God wasn't budging. Apparently, my long hair and skinnier frame hadn't convinced God that He needed to now jump through my hoops and make my dreams come true.
Now nearing the end of 2011, I have had to face more changes. Hot flashes, mood swings, trouble sleeping, feeling like I am crazy, irrationally hungry: Welcome to menopause. I am in the thick of that process and that, along with my weight loss has contributed to a drastic change in the texture of my hair. It's become so very thin that I was concerned.
And that's what landed me in my friends' salon yesterday ready to make a change. Well.. not really ready, but willing to try. My dear friends Dean and Mario assured me that my hair would look thicker darker and shorter and that I could really carry that look well. It would suit my complexion...yada...yada...yada. But I'm the girl with the long blondish hair...
So I got to the edge of that cliff and I jumped. The thing about hair is: the jump is reversible. But it's still a jump.
I wish I could tell you that I love it and all is well today. I wish I could tell you how beautiful I feel and confident and sexy. But the truth is, this was a big deal to me. I had nightmares all night and woke up wondering how I would get through this day being this new person. A new person without the long blondish hair. What could I possibly have going for me now?
Well, there is this truth about being a child of God. And the fact that I am so dearly loved by Him that He gave His life for me. And that He is doing a work inside of me. In fact, I am God's workmanship. His master work of art. I have to face the mirror today and grab hold of, maybe for the first time ever, the truth that who I am becoming on the inside is where my true beauty lies. I am forced to see myself differently today without the security blanket of that long blonde hair.
So...with trembling and tears sitting right on the brim, I go into this day with short dark hair. People will have opinions. They're allowed. And I will learn, trial by fire, to hold my head up and not live today as a prisoner to anyone's opinion but to truly seek the approval of my God. I should have been doing a better job of that all along- even as the girl with the long blondish hair.
CUPS
Hi friends! Did you know that God is a person, with an actual personality, and you can actually get to know Him? And so many of us carry around these big misconceptions about what He's really like. I used to think that God tolerated me because I was His kid, and I should tread lightly as not to disturb Him too much. I was certain that you should only pray about the really BIG stuff because God was..well, pretty busy.. and only really cared about big, God-sized stuff.
It was back in 1999 and I was in the first week on my new job as studio manager for Audio Master. One morning, there were very important clients (V.I.C’s) coming in early for a session for some radio spots. This would be my first time meeting these clients and as the new manager, I wanted to make a great first impression. The first thing they did after depositing their brief cases in the studio was to come back upstairs and gather like vultures around the…wait for it….
Coffee pot.
I was on it. I learned how to make a pot of coffee just for this job, so I was quite proud the coffee was ready. Just one problem.
No cups.
I searched in every cabinet, under every counter and in every closet. I went into all 3 studios. The V.I.C’s were getting upset, and still standing around the coffee pot..waiting.
I couldn’t leave because I was the only person there besides the engineer doing the session. So I calmly asked the V.I.C’s to have a seat in the studio and I would bring them their coffee.
In my hands, I guess… All I knew was that somehow, I needed to make this happen.
I went back behind my desk and did what any baby Christian would do. I cried. Just a little. Then, I prayed right there at my desk in the reception lobby. Short and sweet and desperate. Please God help me find some cups. This job is important to me. And if You can’t do that, help me handle this in a way that wins them over. In Jesus’s Name, Amen.
A mili-second later, the door swings open and voiceover actor that I had met just a few days prior, walks in, awkwardly balancing the door open with one hand and carrying a large box in the other. “Hi Sheldon. What’s in the box?”, I quipped.
“Cups,” he said.
My mouth dropped open so that I was barely able to speak. Sheldon opened the box to show me the paper cups he used to advertise his business. They were white cups with blue letters that said, “Sheldon Smith Means Voiceovers”. He said he just happened to be in the area and wanted to drop them off…
Yeah ok Sheldon. You can believe that if you want.
That was the cup that forever changed my life. If God would seriously bend His ear to a girl like me asking for something so ridiculously unimportant, then He must be actually interested in me. And if God is interested in me like that, then He must really care about the details of my life- even the cups. And if He cares about the cups, surely He cares about the deepest longings of my heart.
Want proof?
“LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure.” – Psalm 16:5
What have been the "cups" in your life that showed you something about who God really is? Do you trust Him enough to even ask Him.. about cups?
His Girl,
Tracey
Interview with Israel Houghton
Israel Houghton will be at the Coppin State University Physical Education Complex on April 30th along with Martha Munizzi. Click here for ticket information.
What I Won't Put Up With
Hi friends,
I was out shopping the other night and I don’t know if I was just super sensitive or if it was something God was showing me on purpose, but I was heartsick over what I witnessed. People were fussing with one another. Openly, just walking in the mall...loudly in the department store. I overheard exchanges between people that triggered something in me.
The first one was a married couple in Lord and Taylor.
The man says to the woman in an agitated tone, “Look! How many times do I have to tell you. He doesn’t want one of those."
She says, “But I just thought----“
He interrupts, “Well you don’t know what the h____ you’re taking about.”
I saw another couple in the mall with hands in the air in disgust. He says to her, “Just shut up!” and then walks away from her. She just stands there for a second and then silently tries to catch up with him.
It was contempt in action. This kind of thing is not a little thing to me. If someone that I am in relationship with talks to me like this I am done. Shut down. Humiliated. Hurt. Ashamed. And done. I lived like this for too many years in unhealthy relationships. I wasn’t respected. I wasn’t treasured and I wasn’t honored. And it damaged me.
Watching it from afar, I could feel that hurt all over again. And honestly, this is the thing that terrifies me about “being in love.” I long to be in a fulfilling, beautiful marriage with a godly man. I long to be romantic, close, and willing to serve someone. But when I see this, it triggers the pain of the past and the fear of ever going through that again.
Don’t get me wrong. I know people who love one another will disagree and have difficult times, but there is never an excuse or reason to treat the one you love with contempt.
And I wonder where did it start? Were there signs of this when they dated? How did it get to the point where this kind of behavior was accepted?
I find myself at 46 yrs old where I never thought I’d be. Single. Longing for love, but pretty happy just as I am most of the time. And ironically, the Lord has me mentoring young girls and women who want nothing more than to find Mr.Right.
But their desire to be in any relationship is stronger than their desire to be in a good relationship. What they are willing to accept as normal, what they are willing to put up with, just astounds me.
We teach people how to treat us. If you allow them believe that it’s ok to humiliate, disrespect and shame you now… what makes you think that they will all of a sudden be wonderful to you if you marry them?
It was the love of Jesus that turned it all around for me. If He could be so kind to me...so tender...so full of compassion, grace and mercy...if He could consistently want good for me and put me first and value me so much that He would die for me, knowing how wretched I really am...and He is God...
Then...how could I possibly put up with a mere man treating me like a dog?
I can’t and I won’t.
My dearest sisters, settle for nothing less. Don’t let your desire for romance get in the way of real love.
Instead of just asking for God to bring that man into my life, I am praying also, Lord make me the kind of woman who loves the way You have loved me.
I have a long way to go, but in the meantime, I am single and loved perfectly by a God who knows what I need.
His Beloved,
Tracey
Singled Out
Hi friends!
I was on a cruise last week with my family and friends and one of the activities they had on the ship one night, was a salsa dance lesson. Now, I have to tell you.. I LOVE salsa music and love salsa dancing. Problem is- I really don't know how. But I am drawn to it and I've always wanted to learn. So I figured, it's a free lesson. Why not?
I show up to the class and it became obvious to me rather quickly, that I was the one and ONLY single person in the class. All couples. Nice, happy couples who wanted to learn how to dance together. Now this makes perfect sense, since salsa dancing is with two people.
I'm not really sure what I was expecting or why I was embarrassed. Perhaps I was hoping there would be just one other single person in the class. Or even a smurf or cyclops. It didn't much matter. Just someone who wasn't paired up and wanted to learn how to dance. On a boat with about 5,000 people on it- it seemed a reasonable hope.
But no.
The instructor told all the couples to spread out on the dance floor. I felt my cheeks turn blood red and I tried to slither off the floor, over to the side.. I was hoping that my luck would improve and maybe the floor would open up and swallow me whole.
But Hans, or Sven, or whatever the instructor's name was, saw me slithering, and in front of everyone, loudly, in a Scandanavian-ish accent said, "Where is your partner?"
Funny, I've been wondering that same thing for years.
I answered him like a little mouse. "I don't have a partner. It's ok. I'll just stand over here and watch".
"No!" he said. "You will dance with me."
And just like that, the girl with no partner, alone in a room full of shiny happy couples, was singled out to dance. Not with just anyone - with the Master.
Isaiah 54:4-5 says, "Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated....For your Maker is your husband— the LORD Almighty is his name— the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer..."
And for a few moments, I forgot the pain of being alone in that room and I danced. With the best dancer in the place. He knew what he was doing..skilled and strong, he spun me around and made me feel like as long as he was leading, I could do anything.
Singled out to dance with the Master. This is the reality of my life right now and while it might not be what I was expecting, I am honored.
His,
Tracey
If I Had To Live My Life Over
Here's the poem from Erma Bombeck that we read this morning. There are many versions of this on the Internet, but this is the version she wrote in her column on December 2, 1979. Enjoy and cherish those sweet moments!
If I Had My Life To Live Over
Someone asked me the other day if I had my life to live over would I change anything.
My answer was no, but then I thought about it and changed my mind.
If I had my life to live over again I would have waxed less and listened more.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy and complaining about the shadow over my feet, I’d have cherished every minute of it and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was to be my only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.
I would have eaten popcorn in the “good” living room and worried less about the dirt when you lit the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would have burnt the pink candle that was sculptured like a rose before it melted while being stored.
I would have sat cross-legged on the lawn with my children and never worried about grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television...and more while watching real life.
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband which I took for granted.
I would have eaten less cottage cheese and more ice cream.
I would have gone to bed when I was sick, instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for a day.
I would never have bought ANYTHING just because it was practical/wouldn’t show soil/ guaranteed to last a lifetime.
When my child kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, “Later. Now, go get washed up for dinner.”
There would have been more I love yous...more I’m sorrys...more I’m listenings...but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute of it...look at it and really see it...try it on...live it...exhaust it...and never give that minute back until there was nothing left of it.
© Erma Bombeck
When will I ever stop talking about my weight?
Weight loss and the pursuit of it, has been like a part-time job for me for many years. Maybe even more than part-time. On top of all my other jobs and activities, obscuring any joy I may feel about myself or any accomplishments, stealing my confidence, and my attention and shaming me for failed attempt after failed attempt.
If you know this struggle, then you know what I mean. How many tears have you cried because you felt so bad about your weight? How long have you felt powerless to do anything about it?
As a Christ follower, I believe I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Phil. 4:13) But this battle has beat me up so much that I had nearly given up hope that I could ever change. Yes, I knew the Lord was able, but clearly I wasn’t. Or so I thought.
Losing weight is a very personal thing and the way it happens for people is as unique as their struggle. For me, a lack of self- control and feeding my loneliness and hormonal depression with loads of carbs, and sugar, meant that I needed structure and discipline. Accountability with results to keep me motivated. No wiggle room.
This program was exactly what I needed. It has helped me identify the real reasons I would eat, and to discern when I am actually hungry. There were so many times when I was stressed or upset about something and my first inclination was to feed myself. And I couldn’t. Not only would it mess up my weight loss, but I would then have to admit it on the air, that I had “cheated”. Talk about accountability!
So I persevered. I set a goal and I persevered. Through parties, nights out with friends, holidays...I never wavered. And on Christmas Eve, I hit my goal. 145 lbs! Now it’s January 10th and I’m still going. Turns out, I could actually go all the way with this program and get.. dare I say it...thin. Me! I never thought it was possible.
I am 140 lbs today and I’ve lost a total of 46 pounds. But what I have gained is so much more. The feeling of accomplishment that I have set a goal and even surpassed it. The confidence that I can do ministry and reach out to others without feeling self-conscious, but instead, focused on them. The belief restored in me, that I really can change. Transformation is possible. And I can glorify God in an area that I have shut Him out all these years.
It is with fear and trembling that I say, I am an over-comer. By God’s grace that is what I am. I will never underestimate this struggle and I will never think I have it all figured out. But I have learned so much and I am different than when I started back in September. Different on the inside. You can’t see that change as clearly, but trust me. When you see how different I look on the outside, it is just a small hint of how different I am on the inside.
Thank you to my friends at A Better Weigh and thank you Lord for giving me the help I needed. I’ll be 47 in April and Lord willing, I’ll be the leanest I’ve been since.. well… a long, long time. And speaking of time, what will I do with all the time I'll have to myself when I quit this part-time job of losing weight? Can’t wait to find out.
Humbled,
Tracey
Welcome to "The Show After The Show" Episode #1
Mom's Breakfast Casserole is back!
Hi friends!
Every year since I was a wee one, my mom has made this delicious breakfast for Christmas morning. We love it so much and only get it once a year. Many of our listeners have adopted it as their Christmas morning breakfast so, we wanted to share the recipe with you once again!
Enjoy!
Linda's Breakfast Casserole
Ingredients:
6 slices of bread, crusts removed
Butter (to lightly coat the bread)
1 lb of bacon (or your choice of meat like sausage, steak, chicken, etc)
1 1/2 cups shredded cheese (we like shredded cheddar)
6 eggs
2 cups of milk
salt & pepper (to taste)
To Make:
Grease a 13 x 9 inch pan.
Butter the 6 slices of bread and place in pan butter side up.
Fry bacon (or meat you desire) and crumble over the bread.
Sprinkle cheese over the meat and bread.
In a bowl, whisk together 6 eggs, salt & pepper and 2 cups of milk.
Pour over top the bread, meat, and cheese.
Cover with foil and place in the fridge overnight.
The next morning, preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Pull casserole out and let sit on the counter for 15 minutes (very important if you are using a glass pan!).
Uncover and bake for approximately 45 minutes.
Let sit for 5 minutes and enjoy!
Your Monday Smile! Warm Fuzzies...
Think God is too busy to care about the little things?
Last week, on my Facebook, listeners were sharing what school supplies their kids really wanted for the new year. One listener, Jenn, wrote that she couldn’t afford all the stuff her kids wanted and she was shopping at the thrift store.
I received a personal message from one of our listeners who saw that post, and felt the Lord wanted her to help. She wanted to remain anonymous so she asked that we get her address and connect them. When I told Jenn that someone wanted to help, she said through her tears, “I can’t believe God would want to meet this little need of mine”.
So that was Monday.
Then Thursday came. We aired a call from a listener named Ann, who shared the back to school fashions that her kids really wanted this year. Her daughter, Rachel, is a precious special needs 10 year old, who really wanted this iCarly back pack. But Ann couldn’t find it anywhere! It appeared to be sold out- even online.
Another listener, Teresa, heard Ann sharing her daughter’s desire for this backpack. A little thing right? But to a 10 year old girl, a big thing. And Teresa, a total stranger, feels compelled on her way in to work, (in Annapolis) to take a detour. She pulls into the Target and looks, and finds the iCarly backpack! She buys it for Ann’s daughter, along with some iCarly dvds.. And drives to the station (in Arbutus) to drop it off for Ann to pick up.
Teresa tells me through her tears, that she was just so happy to be used by God.
And I’m thinking I want to be like both of these ladies.. So willing, so flexible with my plans that if God calls me to drop everything to go serve someone-I’d be willing. That is, after all, the body of Christ. The Acts 2 church in the present day- taking care of each other. Reflecting the heart of the Father and proving yet again, He really does care about the little things.
And by the way… the listener, Ann, who wanted that backpack for her daughter? She was the “anonymous” person who reached out to Jenn with some help buying school supplies.
Just amazing!
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