Hi friends!
My word for the year is "NEW". Last year, I had been feeling a bit of that mid-life thing creeping up on me, and even fighting the blues a bit. But in God's word, I was reminded, that while I may be bored with me, He isn't. In fact, in Christ, I am a new creation. (2Cor.5:17) I wanted to really embrace the idea that God is still making me new and that there are things about me I have yet to discover. I want to challenge my comfort zone, look forward to new experiences and intentionally open my heart to new things, ideas, learnings, etc... So, I made a goal for myself that I would do something new, that I've never done before- every single day of this new year. We're nine days in and so far, I'm having fun!
I promised to give you a recap so you can see what new adventures I'm having, and I am open to your suggestions too. Some of these might seem insignificant, but to me, they were a way of seeing myself differently- no matter how small. I do have some bigger things planned too and I trust the Lord will lead me through this thing and show me what He wants to show me.
So far, here's what I've done:
Jan. 1- Stayed for 2 back to back church services on a Sunday that I wasn't serving/working. I was glad I did. I needed to hear the message twice and even responding to God in worship- my heart was so much softer the 2nd time.
Jan. 2- Bought art supplies. A table-top easel, canvases, and paints. Never been an artist, and felt like a little kid picking this stuff out. I have it sitting on my dining room table but haven't had the courage to start yet. Waiting for the right day to take the next step and paint something.
Jan. 3- Took down my Christmas tree. Before February! I am infamous for leaving it up way too long. I just love it so much I put off taking it down. This year, I wanted to know what it would feel like to be practical. (hated it)
Jan. 4-Paid for a stranger's coffee in line behind me in the Barnes and Noble. Awkward at first, but I think it made her feel good and it certainly gave me a lift! I prayed it would just make her feel special- like God could see her.
Jan. 5- Had dinner with my friend Lorraine and her new husband Tim for the 1st time. It was a joy to see her so happy and to finally spend some time with this wonderful man I have heard to much about but not really had the chance to know yet. People ask me, if it's hard when my single friends meet someone and I'm still alone. Honestly- never. It comes easily to me to rejoice with the people I love.
Jan. 6- Got my first ever manicure with dark brown nail polish. I see the young girls with it and thought it was time I give it a try. Guys, I know this is no big deal from your perspective- but trust me. Picking out the color when you get a mani/pedi is one of the simple pleasures of life and very seldom, do we venture off into new colors. Sometimes, just doing something a little unexpected- can be a real kick!
Jan.7-My dear friends, The Cabellons, just had a baby girl. I got to hold precious Ruby in my arms-just one day old. So fresh from God and with that mysterious heavenly scent that only a newborn can have. I hope that this new thing, gets repeated many, many times.
Jan. 8- I led worship at Bridgeway which is always a privilege, but what was new, was I taught the congregation a new song. It's called "No One Higher" by Martha Munizzi, one of my favorites. It is a joy to see and hear a few thousand people grab ahold of that new song and start singing it like they mean it. They did.
Jan.9- I took a walk around my neighborhood, at night, by myself. I've never done that or even felt like I wanted to do that. Especially in January, but it was actually very pleasant. And... I started the post-holiday dead Christmas tree judging contest.
There you have it. I already have something planned tomorrow that will stretch me. Also, Mike and Dave will pick something new for me to do from all the suggestions many of you have made. New is good.
So far.
Newly Yours,
Tracey
365 Days of New- Recap
365 days of New
I chose a one word theme for my life this new year- instead of making resolutions. One word- that I prayed about and believe God gave to me. One word that could be a way for me to focus, get back on track if I lose my way, and look for God to teach me about.
My word is... NEW.
2Cor. 5:17 says, "Therefore if any one is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old is gone, the new has come." Problem is I don't feel so new.
And of course there's this one: Isaiah 43:18-19 "Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up, do you not perceive it?" No- I don't always perceive it. But I want to.
And how about Lamentations 3:22-23 "...His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Why do I live in old shame instead of embracing God's new compassions?
New.
The word isn't impressive, scholarly word, or even the slightest bit unusual or groundbreaking, but what God is speaking to me about that word is transforming- to me. I have been weighed down the last few months with some old stuff. New hurts have triggered old ones to come to the surface. I have believed things about myself that aren't true of me and I have doubted others love for me because they weren't giving me what I expected. I have been disappointed.
You know how it is when you first meet someone? There is an eagerness to know each other, a genuine interest, a grace to believe the best because you don't have any history to hold over their heads. Even if someone is a scoundrel to everyone who knows them; with every new person they meet, there is a grace to now be better... a fresh start to be the person you want to be - in this relationship. A newness.
After awhile we stop learning about each other and put people in boxes, refusing to see that they are deeper still than what we know and there is more beauty to be revealed. We fall out of love. We fall out of interest. We think it's their fault. But perhaps, we have stopped allowing them to be -new. Familiarity breeds contempt so they say. I think it's true and I have felt the sting of being on the receiving end of people no longer caring to know more of who I am. Disenchanted, bored, and shutting me down so I don't even believe there's more of me worth sharing.
I have also been on the giving end of that kind of treatment. It grieves me and I want to love better than that.
There's so much more to this that God is showing me, but for now, I just want to share with you that "New" is my word. I will strive to believe that God is telling the truth about me, and making me new every day. And I will allow others to be new too. I won't hold history over their heads. I will get to know them again. I want to be the kind of friend that breathes life into people and helps them re-create. And I want to challenge myself to dig deeper and find new things inside of me that God put there for a reason.
One practical way of embracing my word is this. Starting January 1st, I have begun a personal quest: 365 days of NEW.
Every day this year, I will do something I haven't done before. It could be as little as, trying a new food, or taking a new route... Or it could be as adventurous as, well... I'm not telling just yet. But I will keep you posted.
Yesterday, I wasn't working at church like I usually am, and yet I stayed through two services back to back because my pastor asked me to. That was new.
Today, January 2nd, I bought my first set of art supplies. I'm 47 and I'm sure I haven't painted since elementary school. Perhaps it's just my version of a mid-life crisis, but I'm going to paint something, by golly. Just like this new year of my life- a blank canvas is waiting, full of possibilities.
Tracey
Mom's Christmas Breakfast Casserole
Hi friends!
Every year since I was a wee one, my mom has made this delicious breakfast for Christmas morning. We love it so much and only get it once a year. Many of our listeners have adopted it as their Christmas morning breakfast so, we wanted to share the recipe with you once again!
Enjoy!
Linda's Breakfast Casserole
Ingredients:
6 slices of bread, crusts removed
Butter (to lightly coat the bread)
1 lb of bacon (or your choice of meat like sausage, steak, chicken, etc)
1 1/2 cups shredded cheese (we like shredded cheddar)
6 eggs
2 cups of milk
salt & pepper (to taste)
To Make:
Grease a 13 x 9 inch pan.
Butter the 6 slices of bread and place in pan butter side up.
Fry bacon (or meat you desire) and crumble over the bread.
Sprinkle cheese over the meat and bread.
In a bowl, whisk together 6 eggs, salt & pepper and 2 cups of milk.
Pour over top the bread, meat, and cheese.
Cover with foil and place in the fridge overnight.
The next morning, preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Pull casserole out and let sit on the counter for 15 minutes (very important if you are using a glass pan!).
Uncover and bake for approximately 45 minutes.
Let sit for 5 minutes and enjoy!
I AM NOT MY HAIR
I am not this skin
I am not your expectations no no
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am a soul that lives within
- India Arie
It's hard to explain how much of my identity has been tied to my hair. My whole life I have had long hair with one agonizing exception - when Mom got me a pixie at age 3. I have the pics to prove how agonizing that was.
Since then and all through my teens, twenties, thirties and yes, even my forties, I was girl with the long, blond-ish hair. During this time, something happened inside of me. A core belief formed that my hair was the only pretty thing I had going for me. I thought, "If I didn't have this long, pretty hair, no man would ever be interested." Surely, I wanted one to be interested so, at least I have my hair.
To add to this belief I had built up, many people over the years reinforced this idea that men really love the long hair. So, I held onto this hair. Thinking that to not have it would mean that I was less - less of a woman, less pretty, less deserving of love, less feminine.
I didn't know how deep these beliefs were hidden in my heart. They were wrong. But they were what I believed.
The thing about my Lord Jesus, is He is always challenging me to see myself differently. After all, I am a new creation in Him. He looks at my heart while men (and women) judge the outward appearance. He has been changing me on the inside. But on the outside, I was still the girl with the long hair believing it was my ticket to being beautiful.
A few years ago, I did make a big change and went red - a big change from my blonde! Here's the crazy thing...going through old pictures, I discovered my hair was red naturally when I was younger. So red became comfortable. But the red hair was still long-ish and still blond-ish too.
Then last year, I went through a metamorphosis and thanks to the grace of God, I met some great people from A Better Weigh and I lost 55 pounds. Surely now...with this long hair and being thinner than I've been since I was a teenager...surely now, my prince would come! Funny how the deep motives of our heart are exposed in times like this. I didn't know I had put God on a timetable and I had a great expectation attached to these big external changes I was making. Well God wasn't budging. Apparently, my long hair and skinnier frame hadn't convinced God that He needed to now jump through my hoops and make my dreams come true.
Now nearing the end of 2011, I have had to face more changes. Hot flashes, mood swings, trouble sleeping, feeling like I am crazy, irrationally hungry: Welcome to menopause. I am in the thick of that process and that, along with my weight loss has contributed to a drastic change in the texture of my hair. It's become so very thin that I was concerned.
And that's what landed me in my friends' salon yesterday ready to make a change. Well.. not really ready, but willing to try. My dear friends Dean and Mario assured me that my hair would look thicker darker and shorter and that I could really carry that look well. It would suit my complexion...yada...yada...yada. But I'm the girl with the long blondish hair...
So I got to the edge of that cliff and I jumped. The thing about hair is: the jump is reversible. But it's still a jump.
I wish I could tell you that I love it and all is well today. I wish I could tell you how beautiful I feel and confident and sexy. But the truth is, this was a big deal to me. I had nightmares all night and woke up wondering how I would get through this day being this new person. A new person without the long blondish hair. What could I possibly have going for me now?
Well, there is this truth about being a child of God. And the fact that I am so dearly loved by Him that He gave His life for me. And that He is doing a work inside of me. In fact, I am God's workmanship. His master work of art. I have to face the mirror today and grab hold of, maybe for the first time ever, the truth that who I am becoming on the inside is where my true beauty lies. I am forced to see myself differently today without the security blanket of that long blonde hair.
So...with trembling and tears sitting right on the brim, I go into this day with short dark hair. People will have opinions. They're allowed. And I will learn, trial by fire, to hold my head up and not live today as a prisoner to anyone's opinion but to truly seek the approval of my God. I should have been doing a better job of that all along- even as the girl with the long blondish hair.
CUPS
Hi friends! Did you know that God is a person, with an actual personality, and you can actually get to know Him? And so many of us carry around these big misconceptions about what He's really like. I used to think that God tolerated me because I was His kid, and I should tread lightly as not to disturb Him too much. I was certain that you should only pray about the really BIG stuff because God was..well, pretty busy.. and only really cared about big, God-sized stuff.
It was back in 1999 and I was in the first week on my new job as studio manager for Audio Master. One morning, there were very important clients (V.I.C’s) coming in early for a session for some radio spots. This would be my first time meeting these clients and as the new manager, I wanted to make a great first impression. The first thing they did after depositing their brief cases in the studio was to come back upstairs and gather like vultures around the…wait for it….
Coffee pot.
I was on it. I learned how to make a pot of coffee just for this job, so I was quite proud the coffee was ready. Just one problem.
No cups.
I searched in every cabinet, under every counter and in every closet. I went into all 3 studios. The V.I.C’s were getting upset, and still standing around the coffee pot..waiting.
I couldn’t leave because I was the only person there besides the engineer doing the session. So I calmly asked the V.I.C’s to have a seat in the studio and I would bring them their coffee.
In my hands, I guess… All I knew was that somehow, I needed to make this happen.
I went back behind my desk and did what any baby Christian would do. I cried. Just a little. Then, I prayed right there at my desk in the reception lobby. Short and sweet and desperate. Please God help me find some cups. This job is important to me. And if You can’t do that, help me handle this in a way that wins them over. In Jesus’s Name, Amen.
A mili-second later, the door swings open and voiceover actor that I had met just a few days prior, walks in, awkwardly balancing the door open with one hand and carrying a large box in the other. “Hi Sheldon. What’s in the box?”, I quipped.
“Cups,” he said.
My mouth dropped open so that I was barely able to speak. Sheldon opened the box to show me the paper cups he used to advertise his business. They were white cups with blue letters that said, “Sheldon Smith Means Voiceovers”. He said he just happened to be in the area and wanted to drop them off…
Yeah ok Sheldon. You can believe that if you want.
That was the cup that forever changed my life. If God would seriously bend His ear to a girl like me asking for something so ridiculously unimportant, then He must be actually interested in me. And if God is interested in me like that, then He must really care about the details of my life- even the cups. And if He cares about the cups, surely He cares about the deepest longings of my heart.
Want proof?
“LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure.” – Psalm 16:5
What have been the "cups" in your life that showed you something about who God really is? Do you trust Him enough to even ask Him.. about cups?
His Girl,
Tracey
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